Can There Be Peace In Auschwitz Today?

Tuesday, March 22^nd, 2016

For the past week, I have been experiencing many different emotions: anxiety, happiness, sadness, but also excitement.  I wasn’t nervous about traveling abroad or about being on an airplane.  My anxiety stemmed from the unknown reactions I was going to have during and after my arrival at Auschwitz.  This class has been extremely eye-opening, since I have never been exposed to any of the history of WWII other than high school history class.  On Monday, I felt as though I had a pit in my stomach as I found out a resident from the nursing home I have worked at since my sophomore year of high school had passed away.  Her death was not the only reason I did not feel right – it was also due to knowing that the next day I would be walking the grounds of a place where 6,000,000 people were tortured, murdered or died from starvation and disease. 



"Work Will Set You Free"

Yesterday at Auschwitz 1, we bared witness to just how horrifying and gruesomely the prisoners were treated.  As we entered the camp, the sign read, “Arbeit Macht Frei,” which means, “Work Will Set You Free.”  We learned that this quote was to mislead prisoners and to attempt to obscure the dreadful events happening inside of the camp.  The German Nazi’s concealed from the outside world all the harm they were doing to the Jews and prisoners.  As we learned today at Auschwitz-Birkenau, the Germans destroyed the gas chambers in an attempt to cover up the evidence of their disgusting and inhumane acts.  Walking through the grounds of the camp, I reacted less emotionally than I had imagined.  I found myself tearing up at times, especially when we entered the rooms displaying the luggage, belongings, and especially the hair of the prisoners.  I cannot fathom what the victims went through.  Seeing their hair gave me an indescribable feeling.  I immediately began to think of the loss of individuality and identity the prisoners experienced.  Upon arrival, they were not only tattooed with numbers to replace their names, but they were all given matching clothing, and all men, women, and children’s heads were shaved.

 

One of the many demolished gas chambers.

The steps down to the gas chamber.

Walking through Auschwitz-Birkenau today, I remembered what Alice said from the movie we watched in class – that in Auschwitz, “Each step hurts.”  Today, I experienced that hurt.  Walking around the gas chambers made me feel that same indescribable feeling I had upon seeing the prisoner’s hair.  I could not help but imagine and internalize the horrific aurora that came from the gas chambers.  It made me so sad and I tried to imagine how I would have felt if I had been a young woman taking those steps down into the chamber.  Would I know my life was about to come to an abrupt and gruesome end?  I had to take a few moments for myself and I sat down on the steps of a memorial adjacent to the gas chamber to process my feelings.  At first I felt devastated, but then I saw a long-stemmed, red rose lying on the destroyed wall of the gas chamber.  Suddenly, the rose made me feel peaceful and content.  The rose gave me some satisfaction that there is still life in a place where too many innocent and loving people were killed.

The rose that gave me a sense of peace.