Birkenau

Day IV- Birkenau

Arriving at Auschwitz II-Birkenau matched what I imagined a concentration or death camp to look like. First, the tour guide guided us to the main watch tower that was used for the SS guards. The tower had windows that had a view of the whole camp and it looked like it went on for miles. A great deal of this camp was destroyed by the Nazis after they were

caught before the camp was liberated by the Russians.

Before taking our first steps beyond the tower and into the camp, we walked to the railway tracks where a cattle car was placed. Being able to see a cattle car in person was emotionally touching because this is where many people died and is one’s grave in a sense. When thinking about death in the Holocaust, I always imagined of the camps but not what happened in the cattle cars. These small, dark transit cars were the beginning of the journey of so many deaths and suffering for prisoners. We walked back and took our first steps onto the camp and traced the same steps of thousands that walked their way to their death. Again, I attempted to walk in women, men and children’s shoes.

Before the war, Auschwitz II-Birkenau was a village in Poland and those living in the village were expelled. These houses in the village were demolished and the camp was built. The Germans made the prisoners build the camp and Birkenau was planned to hold 100,000 prisoners. Although, this number was not ever reached the camp still held 90,000 prisoners.

We walked into a barrack that was originally used as a horse stable, but this is how I imagined a barrack to look like when reading The Holocaust Kingdom. "The barrack was a long wooden shed originally intended as a stable for horses...triple-decker bunks stood against both walls and a narrow aisle was kept between bunks and walls." This was identical to what I was witnessing. Up to 600 people lived in one barrack and these barracks were built with no foundation, only concrete floor and triple bed bunked beds where up to 6 people slept in one bed.

One moment that really struck me was near the end of the tour. A picture of women and children was placed near the woods which was where these human beings waited to go to the gas chambers. There was such worry and confusion on their faces. We walked the same route to the gas chamber as these human beings did and I could only put myself once again in the people’s shoes of what they could have been thinking. "Someone began to scream that we were in a gas chamber and they were going to turn on the gas any minute (Donat pg. 141)." Did these woman hear similar screaming? Did they smell the bodies being cremated? Did they know what their fate was? As a woman I could not imagine myself, but also my child or children being put in such a position. A group of women attempted to revolt before going into the gas chamber. They must have known their tragic fate all because of the hatred of their religion. These women were either forced into the chamber or shot on sight.

While we were walking it was unbelievable how much was destroyed by the Nazis and how big Birkenau was. After the tour, later in the day we listened to a survivor’s story who survived Birkenau. It was interesting to hear a survivor’s story and have the imagery of what he went through since we went on the camp prior to this story. He mentioned how without his cousin and his words he would not have lived. I believe this is where God was present. God was in these moments, in Stan’s story, in the survivors and those who helped. Many people lost their faith in God but some kept their faith. God was there during the Shoah in many ways. This experience was very raw and during this time it so quiet and easy to reflect. I took time to walk alone and gather my thoughts.