Never Ending Questions

“If you study this subject for 2 weeks all of your questions will be answered, If you study this subject for any longer than 2 weeks, you will never stop questioning”- Dr. Annamaria

This quote Annamaria said in a lecture one evening in Poland resonated with my throughout the rest of our journey as well as everyday since our return. I connect with this quote more than I thought I ever would. Once she said this my mind kind of stopped and I began to relate it to my studies so far. I thought back to the beginning of this class and my time so far in Poland and realized, her words could not be truer. Starting this class I had an abundance of questions but within the first couple of weeks majority of those questions were answered. It was the more in depth we went and the more lectures we heard that my mind wouldn’t stop running and the questions wouldn’t stop generating. I began having concerns about things I never imagined. Immersing myself in Poland and trying to put myself in the shoes of those in the camp is what led to me to generate the questions that I did. What happened to all the women who were pregnant during the time of the transports? Did they carry the baby to full term? Did they deliver in the camp? What about the Nazis; were they all anti-Semitism preachers or did any of them have an ounce of guilt to the thousands of lives they were taking? They just wouldn’t stop and even with being home for over a month the questions still don’t stop. You don’t realize what will hit or what may concern you until you are in that moment, and I think that is why this topic is so difficult to fully comprehend.

When first studying the holocaust you scrape the surface, and may have all your questions answered within that short time of research. It’s when you dig deeper and one question sparks an idea that you look into that leads you to more research and more questions. You’re being exposed to things you may never had known existed and therefore the subject engulfs you and your left with piles and piles of information, but sometimes no answers. Annamaria told us she has been studying for nearly 30 years and is still left with tons of questions.

This just goes to show how deep and intense the Holocaust truly goes. You could study this content for a lifetime and still not fully understand the entirety of it. I am so grateful to be able to comprehend the Shoah on the level at which I do, but I think just like Annamaria, as my studies continue, I will still be left with hundreds of unanswered questions.

Dr. Annamaria