I Forgot My Rosary- Ashley Scully

Today I walked around Auschwitz-Birkenau (also known as Auschwitz II). It is different than Auschwitz I in many ways. Auschwitz II is vast, empty, and very quiet. Also, I recognized Auschwitz II from a few movies I have seen about the Holocaust. I was very cold today, not only because of the weather, but because the overwhelming silence gave me a chill. In my opinion, Auschwitz II was a difficult experience for me; it made the Holocaust more real. I guess being a Lipper Intern at the Museum of Jewish Heritage-A Living Memorial to the Holocaust in Battery Park, NY was a factor. As an intern, I worked with photographs and different artifacts to educate students about Jewish life before, during, and after the Holocaust. Auschwitz I had pictures, artifacts, and displays. Though they were hard to look at because they were different than the ones in the Museum, I was familiar with the feelings I experienced while viewing such things. I experienced something completely different when I walked through Auschwitz II. I saw the wooden barracks that Jewish women slept in, I saw the remains of gas chambers and human ashes in the ponds, and I saw the cattle carts that the Nazis used to ship Jewish prisoners to the camps. I saw many things and experienced sadness, pain, and discomfort. But I felt a deeper connection to what life was like for the Jews in Auschwitz. I cannot imagine walking around in thin, striped pajamas in the freezing cold weather, hungry and terrified. I could not handle the weather today and I was bundled up with layers. 

Walking through Auschwitz-Birkenau in the freezing cold!

Reading “Lift Your Eyes and Look at the Sky” by Elie Wiesel helped me make a connection to my experience today. Auschwitz is the capital of suffering and death. As I look around, I wonder how hundreds of thousands of Jews—God’s chosen people—be brought here to die. When I closed my eyes and listened, I heard absolute silence. There was a presence of absence and an absence of presence in Auschwitz. I cannot imagine the sounds at Auschwitz-Birkenau during the Holocaust. I do not think I want to either- I do not want nightmares for the rest of my life. I felt surrounded by the dead, I felt like I was walking through an entire cemetery. I looked at the sky to ask God for strength to keep me going. I also looked at the sky to pay my respects when I realized half way through the tour I should look down at the ground where the human ashes were and pay my respects there. 

 I made a special connection today after reading Wiesel’s poem. When I arrived in Poland, I was upset that I forgot my rosary to carry with me and pray as I walked through Auschwitz. Wiesel notes towards the very end of his poem “there are many reasons to renounce faith, but we must preserve it.” I realized that the majority of Jews did not have the ability to practice their religion when they were at Auschwitz. But they held on to faith, and that is what I did today and yesterday as I walked through Auschwitz—I held on to my faith.