Walking Their Path

When we went to Aushwitz-Birkenau, it was a very different experience than it had been at Auschwitz. I was prepared for it only so much; I had imagined it would be easier after the initial shock of the first camp.

Registration Building at Auschwitz-Birkenau

This was not true, in part because of the major difference between these two sites. One had been transformed into a museum, something modern despite our moving through buildings that had been used during the Shoah. The latter was left as it was, with only bunkers rebuilt to show what it would have looked like. It was complete emptiness and huge expanse that I hadn’t been prepared for. It’s impossible to imagine the real size of the camp before you are there.

What struck me hard during this day was our walk through the registration building. We walked on elevated glass platforms that prevented our feet from touching the true ground of the building; I am grateful as it felt like it might have been too much to have our feet on that same ground. Walking outside was different; inside became a specific place, a specific event. We followed through their fearful progress.

Furnaces for burning clothing and belongings

First, women would enter this building and be stripped of their clothes. The day we walked through felt cold to me and it was higher than the typical temperature in Poland. I had a coat on. We followed down the hallway, and along the way you could see the different rooms. At a certain point in the war, the women would have known one of their possible fates and been terrified as they believed they were walking to the gas chambers. At the end of the hall they would be shaved, and then they would get into a real shower and discover that this was not their fate.

While this was happening, all of their belongings would be being burned. This was in part sanitation, but it had the effect of eliminating even more of them off the world. The women would be cold and wet now, and stand in another hall being registered and awaiting clothes, potentially for hours.

Walking through the building made each of these moments more vivid than they ever could have been otherwise. We walked their path, quite literally, in those moments, and cold myself and somewhat on edge, I did not get shaved or stand frozen and wet. It made the image of that experience much more vivid.

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Struggling To Be A Witness

If asked how I felt about leaving Poland, I would have to answer: bittersweet. Despite having only spent a week out of the country, I must admit that I was eager to return to America. We accomplished a great deal during our short stay, and the exhaustion from constantly trying to absorb every ounce of information being presented to us was catching up to me. I needed time to just sit and reflect on the trip – to piece together everything that I had learned. That being said, I was also anxious about returning home. Going to Poland and studying the Holocaust at its epicenter, meant that I was no longer just an average student, rather, I had become a witness. As soon as I walked through the gates at Auschwitz I and Auschwitz II-Birkenau, my eyes fell on to the malevolence responsible for the deaths of millions. As a result, it was now my duty to ensure that the tragedy I observed never be forgotten – a responsibility that I was not sure I could handle.  

"Memorial of Torn-Out Hearts" Located at Plaszów Concentration Camp

During our time in Poland, the class had been warned on numerous occasions about the potential difficulties we may face in regards to answering the questions many were sure to ask us once we returned. What we learned, saw, and experienced was incredibly complicated. To describe it to someone during a passing conversation, a casual “How was Poland?” shouted from across campus, was simply not possible. I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I began to be asked these questions, and I wanted to make sure that I could answer such inquiries in a way that did this experience justice. However, nothing could have prepared me for the most difficult question I have been asked so far: “How were the Nazis able to hurt the Jews?”

            While this question is complex (in the sense that there are a multitude of reasons as to why and how the Nazi party was able to murder 6 million Jews), it was the person asking me this question that made it all the more difficult to answer. This was no peer, no professor – rather, my 11-year-old brother. Now, at this point in my studies of the Holocaust, I was prepared to provide a lengthy explanation as to why the Nazis acted the way they had, as well as what had allowed their endeavors to be so successful. However, just as I finished gathering my thoughts, I realized who I was speaking to – a child. Taken aback, I found myself struggling to reword what I had been about to say, simplifying it in a way that ignored the harsh specifics and focused more on general facts. Despite having answered my brother’s question, I could not help but to feel a twinge of guilt, for I had done so in a manner than excluded details essential to one’s Holocaust education, and feared that such an answer would not have the desired impact. Thus, I began to question my integrity as a witness.

"International Monument" Located at Auschwitz II-Birkenau 

            Prior to this experience with my younger sibling, I had only ever discussed the Holocaust with other students, professors, and various scholars. As a result, I was able to speak freely, allow my thoughts to be heard, and not have to worry about being too gruesome. In other words, I never had to sensor myself before. This all changed when I realized that my audience was not always going to be comprised of individuals my age and/or above. It was at this time that I entered a sort of inner struggle. I knew that it was possible to simplify the events that took place during the Holocaust so as to not traumatize children when discussing such tragedies – as that is exactly what happens when many students are first introduced to the subject. However, I also knew that this watered down curriculum greatly inhibited one’s understanding of the Holocaust. To dismiss the specifics and speak only of the facts, meant that essential events and ideas regarding the Holocaust could, and most likely would, be overlooked. It is through this process of picking and choosing what to say and what to teach that the impact of this education has the potential to be greatly diminished. As a result, I found myself uncertain as to how exactly I should go about discussing the Holocaust with a younger audience – for I knew that to simply not answer their questions would be an injustice to the victims I act as a witness to, but at the same time, I also knew that by answering their questions they may not entirely understand due to the complexity of the material, or that I could potentially traumatize them.

Rose Left Behind in Honor of Those Who Lost Their Lives at Auschwitz II-Birkenau

            All this being said, however, throughout the process of writing this blog and speaking more with the professors in charge of this course, I have come to a realization, and as a result, an easement to the uncertainty I felt regarding my integrity as a witness. While it is my responsibility as a witness to share what I have learned through my time studying the Holocaust thus far, that does not mean I have to regurgitate every ounce of knowledge I have obtained. Rather, it means that as long as I discuss my experience – whether it be in a complex, fully detailed manner, or a simplified, more factual kind of structure – I am fulfilling my duty, and thus encouraging the continued remembrance of the Holocaust. 

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Turning History Into A Reality

In-between the Blocks at Auschwitz I

The reality of the Holocaust to me is completely indescribable. I had always found this topic captivating because no matter how much I studied, I couldn’t comprehend how this inhumane genocide occurred. When first learning about the Holocaust from a middle school and high school standpoint, you learn almost a “PG” version of what actually occurred. A series of facts and information that is almost sugar coated to a point where you understand just a basic summarization of what happened. It wasn’t until this class and learning about the Holocaust on a collegiate level, as well as actually venturing to a concentration camp, that the shocking truth is unveiled. 

At the start of this class we were assigned to read “The Holocaust Kingdom”, a memoir by Alexander Donat that discussed his experiences before, during, and after the Holocaust. Learning about the Holocaust from a survivor’s standpoint opens up a whole new level of comprehension. You are no longer learning just statistics and facts, but instead learning about someone’s real life experiences. Page after page you’re being exposed to the harsh treatments this person faced every single day, the annihilation of their basic human rights, and the impossible feeling to stay alive for just one more day. By reading this memoir it puts a face to those statistics, turning this piece of history into a reality.

For me, the reality hit even harder once we actually stepped foot on the grounds of Auschwitz. Walking where these people had suffered so immensely can’t help but send chills down your spine. By touring a concentration camp it puts the stories from survivors into perspective. You are no longer imaging the scenario you were once reading about, you are now standing exactly where this tragic moment occurred. You are seeing just how small and cramped these living quarters truly are. You are walking through the gas chamber where you know exactly how many people took their last breath. You are turning facts and stories into a real life experience. You are no longer just an intrigued reader into this subject; you are now a witness to the genocide.

No one can ever be prepared for what they might discover when studying the Holocaust. Studying the facts will introduce you to the subject, but nothing compares to being in the actual spot where these facts arose. Immersing myself further into this subject has generated a whole new level of respect for these survivors and an even greater sorrow for those who lost their lives in this unforgettable tragedy.

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Number 432

               “NUMBER: 432”

On the fourth day in Oswiecim, Poland we got the opportunity to visit the Labyrinths of Marian Kolodziej, a Holocaust survivor who left his testimony behind through his drawings. He was one of the many first prisoners that were transported to Auschwitz. He later became identified as prisoner number 432. With his art interest, he was able to create his own world “mentally” in order to find strength for his survival. Many of his drawings in the Labyrinths illustrated the suffering of all the prisoners in the camps, including Jewish, and Polish-Catholics.

 Fifty years after liberation, Marian Kolodziej openly expressed himself through his drawings after suffering a stroke.  He used his creativity to tell the story of his past and his experience in the Shoah. During his time in the concentration camp, he was selected to do various jobs. One of them in particular was working in the crematorium, where he was in charge of transporting all of the dead bodies from the gas chamber to the crematorium. One day he stumbled across his beloved childhood best friend lying in front of him the crematorium. He elucidated this exact image, of where he showed respect by not putting him in a tray with all of the other bodies. Instead he carried his friend from the crematorium, to the gas chamber.

While walking through the Labyrinths, I observed all of the different drawings that represented the prisoners suffering and struggles in order to survive. The Jewish people were the target group to be exterminated. Upon arrival at the camps, the prisoners were then divided into two groups. The group to the right were sent directly to the gas chambers, and the group to the left where given striped uniforms and assigned to work.  All families where divided, and each prisoner that was not sent to the gas chamber was now identified by a number that was tattooed to their forearm.

  

During the stay in the camps, food was limited to all prisoners. Their daily consumption consisted of a loaf of bread and many times a small portion of soup. Prisoners where assigned to work an enormous amount of hours, and later became very weak, and died. In one of his drawings, he demonstrated Jewish-people, and their appearance upon arrival on the top, and how they later became ashes towards the bottom. This drawing implied how they started to lose their dignity, faith and identity.

            

Not only did he illustrate the way Jews where affected, he also demonstrated the suffering of many Polish-Catholics. Father Kobe, being a great example. He was a Polish-Catholic priest, a prisoner that was left in a cell to starve to death, after exchanging fates with another polish-man to be sent to starve to death. He drew his faith from that man as if it was a cloak. He demonstrated his courage, and dignity to his people. As a Roman-Catholic priest he influenced many prisoners in the camp using his faith including non- Polish- Catholics. Father Kobe’s faith allowed him to survive ten days of starvation, but he was never the less later killed by a lethal injection.

      This drawing describes that no matter where life will take him he will carry the weight of the knowledge of the holocaust forever. After telling his testimony through his images, he became a legend himself. His main purpose for the Labyrinths was to honor his friends and all of the people that suffered during the Holocaust.

By: Isabel Marin 

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More Than Just A Number

It was during our first trip to Auschwitz (I) that I realized that such a large part of the Holocaust relates to the dehumanization of its victims. One of the first concepts we discussed in this class was the Teaching of Contempt – a Christian curriculum designed to shame followers of the Jewish faith through classifying them as degenerative murderers of God Himself. During this lesson, we were asked to analyze various influential Early-Christian texts, one of which being John Chrysostom’s Homily 1: Against the Jews. It is in this text that the Archbishop preaches to his followers the dangers of the Jews, referring to their religion as a disease and to them as demons and beasts. Flash forward a millennium and such dehumanizing tactics are still being used today, albeit in a less harsh manner. This time in the form of numbers, the victims of the Holocaust are constantly being associated with/referred to as statistics, rather than humans.

Barracks at Auschwitz I

Whether it is the dates that events began or ended, the amount of calories consumed per day, the death toll, or even the prisoners of the concentration and extermination camps themselves, numbers play a vital role in the understanding of the Holocaust. In fact, statistics are used as a means of putting this tragedy into a somewhat more fathomable perspective. However, numbers and the Holocaust an adverse history as well. The Nazis would be given a certain number of people kill, and they would achieve that goal by any means necessary. Prisoners would be assigned a number upon arriving at the Auschwitz camps, and would thenceforth be referred to solely by those digits. At roll call, S.S. Guards would count to make sure that the proper number of prisoners were in attendance. In the mind of the Holocaust perpetrators, there were no people, just quotas – or rather, numbers. Unfortunately, a similar mindset can be found today. With the Holocaust curriculum being comprised largely of the numbers associated with it, many are finding it increasingly more difficult to differentiate these statistics from the people they are being applied to, as they are being taught to look at the numbers, rather than the people themselves.

Prisoner Uniforms Lined Up

Prior to attending this trip, almost everything I knew about the Holocaust was in the form of a number. When my education of the Holocaust first began, I was taught that the years 1933-1945 were filled with unimaginable horrors, that during this time millions of lives were ruthlessly taken. While a day or two was spent discussing who these lives once belonged to (Jews, homosexuals, Gypsies, etc.), a greater emphasis was still being placed on the number of people killed rather than the people themselves. My teacher did not say “Jews were murdered,” but rather “six million Jews were murdered.” Every fact we learned either started in or ended with some arrangement of digits. Did this prevent me from being able to see that this was a horrible period in time? Of course not. However, it did inhibit my understanding of the significance of the Holocaust and the importance behind studying it. As a result, I never considered to look past the numbers, or to even consider why the numbers were what they were. I simply accepted them.

Assorted Cookware Brought by Prisoners to Auschwitz I

It was only after taking this class and traveling to Poland that I began to view the Holocaust and its victims through a different perspective. During our first night in Poland, we were lectured by Father Manfred – an established scholar of the Holocaust. It was during this lecture that Father Manfred discussed the importance of the victims of the Holocaust, and how by connecting with them – by putting ourselves in their mind – we are able to get a glimpse at what the Holocaust was, as well as how such a tragedy could occur. In other words, in order to understand the Holocaust, we must first care about the victims. In order to do that, however, it is essential that we saw them as human beings, not just statistics. This idea is something that I kept in the back of my mind when we visited the camps. Being brought through the barracks that once contained prisoners, seeing what their living conditions were like, and learning about how they all brought their possessions from home under the impression that they would someday return, made something click. Statistics did not live in these prison cells. Numbers did not starve. It was humans who were hanged by their hands just inches above the ground, humans who were forced to walk to the gas chambers, humans whose ashes once covered this camp. Only by making this connection were my eyes finally opened to the Holocaust in its entirety.

Guard Tower and Warning Sign at Auschwitz I

To discuss the events that took place during the Holocaust without numbers, would be a gross injustice. However, while it is incredibly important to learn about these numbers, it is also essential to differentiate them from the people they are associated with. If this distinction fails to be made, we risk dehumanizing those who were murdered, therefore distancing ourselves from the severity of the Holocaust and preventing the magnitude of this event from fully being recognized.

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