Seeing Europe Through a New Lens- Auschwitz Birkenau by Caroline Farella

    

Carts used to transport victims to the concentration camps

I knew that visiting Auschwitz-Birkenau was going to be difficult.  I reminded myself that if just learning about the experience of the camps was taking a toll on me I could only imagine the horror of living it each day.  I thought perhaps my second tour would be easier since I had already heard and seen so much devastation.  Sadly, my theory, along with the theories I carried with me to Poland, were wrong. I got through yesterday at Auschwitz 1.  So I knew I could get through today.  I was confident the second day would be easier but I was wrong.  I started out the morning with a calm spirit. When we arrived at the camp we were told we were going to go on a little detour before we entered.  The whole walk there I was chatting with my friends but I was quickly silenced when I looked up and in front of me stood cattle cars.  They were the wooden transportation for the victims journeying to their gruesome fate.  I stared at the carts and felt my relaxed mood rapidly diminish.  People were shoved in that car, had no room and no knowledge of where they were going.  I thought about how scary the unknown must have been.  I thought back to the valuables people brought with them because they had no idea what was in store for them.  Some people did not even make it to see the camp alive because the conditions of the carts were so poor.  I turned away from the carts and we made our way back to the camp.  My confidence that this day would be easier was brutally shot down when the first stop on our tour was to a guard tower that overlooked the entire camp.  It was bigger than I could have ever imagined. I looked out onto the acres of land, dozens of barracks, and multiple watchtowers.  I was in shock about the amount of land that was provided to exterminate innocent people.  We had entered a malicious sanctuary of death.  The ultimate goal of the land I was looking out upon was to make sure no one that exited those cattle cars and entered the gates of the camp came out alive.

Barrack where the prisoners slept

                             

Throughout the tour our guide had us all take turns reading stories from Holocaust survivors in the areas in which the memories were from.  The housing conditions for the people would be inhumane even for a street rat.  The walls were made of thin wood, there were gaping holes at the top which let cold air seep in, the ground was muddy and the air was damp.  The bathrooms allowed for no privacy and the seats were close together and as cold as ice.  I told myself again not to over think anything but the statements from the survivors made everything too personal to not mourn over.  We then walked into another barrack in which I was asked to read the statement from a survivor that had once lived in one.  She explained how horrid, unhygienic and infested the barracks were.  My heart raced as each painful word rolled off my tongue.  My eyes couldn’t fight the tears any longer.  I was so angry that blameless people had to suffer so much for no valid reason.  I felt guilty myself that there was nothing I could do that would change the events that took place on the very soil I stood on.   But nothing compared to my intense emotions as when I looked around the barrack and saw graffiti of insensitive people that signed their names on the walls.  I told the tour guide that I could not believe people would come here and have the audacity to sign their name in a place where hundreds of human beings suffered.  The guide made me realize that the disrespectful acts that I saw were nothing compared to the swastikas she had found while giving a tour last year.  I was disgusted about how inconsiderate people could be.  I was so distraught and I was tempted to paint over each scratch myself.  Hadn’t the victim’s received enough cruelty and disrespect?  I felt all the emotions I was trying to keep down inside me rush up all at once. 

Plaque remembering the victims of the Holocaust

Suddenly in all of this darkness there was a light peering through again.  Before me were beautiful plaques from all different countries and in multiple languages that stood in solidarity.  The purpose of these plaques is to serve as a reminder to those who visit this “decent into hell” that they have been warned about what humanity is capable of.  Throughout the remainder of the tour I held onto these words, all around me were signs of the worst reflection of humanity.  At the end of our tour we had a service to pray for the victims that had perished in the Holocaust.  The sun shined through the gray skies and the gusts of wind served as a reminder to me that the Holy Spirit surrounds us. I have always believed the good outweighs the bad and the righteous people win in the end.  I couldn’t let myself believe the people that come to the camp to take selfies and draw insensitive things were going to stop people who came to honor the victims and had pure intentions.  I could not let myself accept that Hitler and the Nazis won the sick game that was the Holocaust.   Our service ended and we made our way out of the camp.  In the distance we heard singing.  I thought I was imagining the angelic voices at first but then before my eyes were hundreds of Jewish people singing and holding up the Star of David proudly.  The bad did not come out victorious.  Goodness had made it through.  Hopefulness still prevails.  The survivors and their descendants are living proof that evil did not win that war.