Leaving With Peace

Thursday, March 24^th, 2016



Today we went back to Auschwitz 1 for the very last time. Entering the camp, I still had the same peaceful feeling I had when leaving Auschwitz-Birkenau yesterday.  This morning we attended a lecture and had some time before lunch to walk around the camp on our own.  I think today was the hardest day of the week for me.  As I walked around the grounds of Auschwitz 1, I entered barrack number twenty-seven where there were exhibits from Belgium and the Netherlands.  As I walked through the Netherlands exhibit, my chest began to feel extremely heavy and my eyes began to fill up with tears.  A large photograph of an eight year old boy wearing the Star of David pinned on his jacket immediately caught my attention.  The description underneath read that upon arrival to Auschwitz, this innocent eight year old boy was immediately sent to the gas chamber.  I found that I could not stop staring into the little boy’s eyes.  Throughout the week of tours at Auschwitz, I would begin to cry as soon as children were mentioned.  Innocent, naïve, beautiful children with the rest of their lives ahead of them were brought to experience this unbelievable cruelty.  Absolutely no one who suffered or died during the Holocaust deserved the inhumane treatment or horrifying death.  However, I cannot accept or understand how or why anyone could commit these acts on a child.

 

The babies barrack at Auschwitz-Birkenau.

As I walked around the corner, there was an entire wall covered with the names, hometowns, and dates of arrival/death of the victims from the Netherlands.  Every name that caught my attention was from Rotterdam, Netherlands.  I live in Rotterdam, New York – just outside of Albany.  I began to burst out in tears as I saw the names, and I couldn’t help but imagined my own family's name being on the list.  I felt heartbroken for the helpless people whose lives were senselessly lost.

For the past two days we have sat in barracks listening to lectures and engaging in interactive activities.  I sat in the barracks without a worry that at any given moment my life could come to an end.  I was sitting at desks and computers without a worry in my mind, while looking out the windows seeing tour groups pass by.  I thought how fortunate, safe and sound I was, knowing that in this very room, on this same ground, people hopelessly suffered, were cruelly tortured, and died.

Looking out the window at Auschwitz 1.

Reflecting on my experience at Auschwitz.

Exiting the camp for the very last time was bittersweet.  I walked around the camp ground and gathered my thoughts.  I tried to think about the beauty I saw in the rose yesterday.   I remembered what Sister Mary told us the first day we arrived in Poland – “It’s not the 1940’s anymore, its 2016.”  I tried to talk myself out of envisioning the dismal history of the camp and attempted to focus on whatever beauty, in nature or on the grounds of the camp that I could find.  I glanced up to the beautiful blue sky as I felt the strong rays of sunlight beaming on my back.  I looked at the green grass and I heard the birds chirping.  As I walked along the cobblestone pathways, I became a witness along with the hundreds of visitors also touring the camp.  I leave believing that experiencing Auschwitz has given me a greater appreciation of my own life, and because of this experience, I will take nothing for granted.

Glancing at the beautiful blue sky, while taking my few last steps at Auschwitz 1.