The Absence of Presence - James Smith

        There are not words that can describe this day for me. And there’s simply not one emotion that can sum this day up for me. Throughout the day at the camp I did a lot of reflecting while walking.

Where I really started to feel the emotions and the power of the camp was when we went into one of the cell blocks containing the endless canisters of Zyklon B. It’s just unimaginable how a chemical that was originally used to disinfect lice, and linens from people who had infectious diseases, and turn it into a killing device for murdering millions is an actual method to the Nazi’s madness. To make a similarity between those too is simply mind blowing. As we continued through the cell blocks which contained exhibits of cut hair, shoes, suitcases, and eye glasses I could feel the wind get knocked out of me in every single sight of mass artifacts we saw.

Walking through the camp, between buildings it was eerie on how well organized the camp was. Within the spacing of the blocks, the whole setup, it just seemed too accurate. During the tour our tour guide Aggie (who was absolutely wonderful) explained on how sophisticated some of the architects and designers of the camp were, and explained the extreme detail for every block, building, tower etc.

Continuing on through the camp to see the gallows of where Rudolph Höess, commandant of the camp was hung. Then to the only standing gas chamber and crematorium of Auschwitz I

I think this was the moment that I had been most anticipating since the beginning of the trip, in fear and the feeling of the pure unknown and unexpected on what feelings I was going to feel once inside that unimaginable place. Once I was in there I just felt, alone, just complete isolation of any compassion or love. It was a feeling of complete emptiness, especially when I gazed up at the holes where they would throw the chemicals into the chambers.

When I left that building I can easily say that the emotions I felt came so fast and so numerous It was something I had never felt in my entire life. It’s easy to say that that was the most powerful moment of the day for me.

The last major wind taking part of the day was seeing the cell block that was directed for the prisoners that were “troublemakers” witnessing, the “mock trial room” and the punishment cells were once again, unimaginable. Especially the cell of St. Maximilian Kolbe. Which was honored by John Paul the II with candles. How torcher to these men and woman could only be more and more painful it seemed that this place had never ending levels or pain

            Than the day was concluded in a cell block which had a video history of the Jewish people before and during the Shoah, which was a nice way to end the day on a little lighter vibe based on some of the easy going vibrations of the camp; it was a really positive feel throughout the building.

Reflection

            Like I said above there really is nothing I can say or do that can describe how I felt today. As I explained tonight with my fellow Ionians I thought about the saying above the camp. “Arbeit macht frei”. Work will set you free.

            I really pondered this reflection the entire day at camp dealing on two different levels. First, what the saying really means in deep terms. Throughout the day I tried my best to put myself in the Jewish prisoner’s shoes. I tried to think of it as if I were coming into the camp, and seeing that saying that it would make me think, well if I work hard for a few weeks or so maybe they will let me go and be free because, I worked hard. But in reality in the German understanding of that phrase. The only way that work would set the Jews free would be through death. Free from the suffering, free from the hunger, free from all of the pain that could only come from death. That’s what that saying really means. For what I did today when I left through the infamous Auschwitz camp gate is take a video of me walking through it.

            What I did and what my classmates did today is something that every person that was in that camp during the holocaust should have done. Walk through those gates freely. What I did today is something that millions did not, get to do.

            My second thought relating to today was relations. What we have been discussing since the fall and what I’ve been wanting to scream is why these religions couldn't get along when they have the same God in common. I understand and acknowledge the claims that were made to the Jews from the Christian side but it obviously doesn’t make sense. The years of hatred, false claims and pure ignorance made the propaganda for the Nazi’s pretty simple to grasp and twist even farther.

            And in terms of what is going on in the world now between the 3 major religions of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity, when there is so many common similarities between the three religions, that where all this hatred and the claim to be the only one right is extremely contradictory to the base of all three.

            I think to summarize this whole day I’d like to use a quote by one of my favorite idols, Jim Valvano. (N.C. State Basketball Coach, died of cancer, Jimmy V Foundation) Valvano said, “If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.” I can honestly say that that quote perfectly summarizes my day today 

- James Smith