Where IS God? (By: Shadeyka Warren)

It has been almost a month since our return from Poland... It has been very difficult to fully comprehend and fathom the intense emotional experience that took place at Auschwitz. Throughout the entire trip, I kept relating the Holocaust to my own personal experiences and those of my classmates. As the trip progressed, emotions prevailed, and each member of the group opened up to share their personal endeavors; one thing became very clear to me - God was, is, and will always be present in the lives of His people. Sometimes it is very difficult to remember this during times of pain, cruelness, and horror, such as what took place during the Shoah.

"The Book of Names" - Known names of Holocaust victims

As I walked throughout Aucshwitz-Birkenau, I witnessed some of the most horrific displays of inhumane cruelty that I had ever seen in my life. I walked through each exhibit in the museum, completely in awe at the artifacts of personal belongings and human remains, including hair! My heart sank to my chest and my eyes filled up with tears as I imagined how a group of people could endure such pain and embarrassment, all because of who they were. The question which seemed to be pondering the group was, how could these people not lose their faith? What gave them hope to continue on with life despite the immense adversities against them? I could not imagine how painful it must have been to watch your friends being shipped away to gas chambers every day... each and every day; millions of deaths, and nothing but the smell of burned bodies as a "memory" of the people you once knew. It is extremely devastating. Where was God? Why did He not help His people during such a time of crisis? By the end of the week, these seemed to be the central questions pondering in all of our minds. I reflected on other events such as natural disasters, sickness, unexpected death, and many other catastrophes which cause people to question where is God and why is He not helping? I began to wonder if He is even here, and if I were a victim of the Shoah, would I have kept my faith until the very end... Probably not.

Auschwitz 1

Belongings of Holocaust victims - Shoes

Sleeping quarters

These questions and thoughts did not begin to come together and make sense to me until March 24, 2016 - Day 6 in Poland. As I sat down for our final lecture with Father Manfred Deselaers, I had no idea that I would be walking out of that lecture with a newfound understanding and appreciation for God's role in the life of His people. Father Manfred began the lecture by recalling an encounter that he had with a survivor, in which the survivor was asked how he did he remain faithful to God during his years imprisoned at Auschwitz. The survivor responded, "Do you believe in God, or do you believe in Love?" My heart sank. Father Manfred continued the lecture by asserting, "If God made a Covenant with His people, why did He not protect and help them?" The traditional answer to this, as he explained, was that it is not because God is bad; it is because the people on earth are bad. Many believe that suffering on earth is God's punishment to man for not following His laws and being unfaithful to Covenant. Pain and suffering should serve as a reminded to return to the Covenant. However, how can this be true in the context of the Shoah? Jewish people were innocent victims, forced out of their homes and robbed of their freedom and livelihoods, not for breaking the Covenant with God, but for simply being born Jewish. They suffered at the hands of millions of perpetrators and bystanders, simply for being who they were naturally born. Thus, the idea that Jewish suffering was a result of breaking the Covenant simply does not make sense in the context of the Shoah. This is especially true because the Jews were known to be among the most faithful and religious people in Europe.

As the lecture progressed, we began to uncover the reasons why God may seem that He is turning His face away from us during times of suffering. As Father Manfred explained, it is not because God does not care. He weeps and cries when he sees the suffering of His people. God is upset when He witnesses how cruelly humans have used the free will and responsibility given to us. So it is not that God isn't present - He sees our suffering and weeps with us. So why does God not want us to see that He is also crying? It is because we are already sad. When the people see that God also cries, they will be even more sad. In hindsight, to "turn" His face is an act of love. It is not that God does not care...

After Father Manfred completed this lecture, everyone was left speechless. I think that many of us never considered this perspective regarding God's love for His people - At least, I never did. My thoughts began to unravel, and slowly the answers to my questions were coming together in a way that made sense to me. I left Poland the next day knowing that God was, is, and will always be here.

"When there's hope there's life..." - Anne Frank